Control Spark
Have you ever wondered where everything came from, then wondered where the hell did the thing it came from come from then? At some point there had to be absolutely nothing, and how can something come from nothing?
Well, it can’t, but an idea can come from nothing, and then something can come from an idea, so it was an idea that created everything; what idea, whose idea? Well, he doesn’t know, is that clear?
No, it’s not clear, nothing is clear, everything is just, well, it’s all just a bit silly really, isn’t it? But the universe is under no obligation to make sense to us. The idea is the Control Spark, the thing that tells every particle what to be when we observe it, because there would be no point in me seeing a banana when you are looking at a Romanian ice cream vendor of medium build with nice eyes.
Nigal has no interest in such grandiose meanderings, for he is just one aggressive tool-making monkey in a population of eight billion aggressive tool-making monkeys who simply want a strong Wi-Fi connection and something to point their eyes at on the TV while getting drunk.
Fate has much bigger plans for Nigal, his life becomes entwined with the Control Sparks existence during a trip to see the pyramids in Egypt that went wrong, or went right from a cosmological perspective, now he and his best friend Sandra find themselves in the centre of a battle for existence itself, and neither of them have the slightest clue what they are doing.
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Saint Frank
The story of Saint Frank begins at the start and ends when it was over, as so many things do. Sir. Frank, a brave Knight of the kingdom of Little Hampton Upon Sea, became a legend when he defeated a Dragon and was made into a saint in recognition of this great deed.
Being a Saint is not without its issues; the quests are a lot bigger for a start, and as the only live and active Saint on Earth, it fell upon Frank to stop the rogue angel Saint Charlie and Charlie's evil schemes.
Frank does not have to do all of this alone, starting with his faithful page's Russell and Tiny. Frank builds up quite a following of odd-bobs and fancy fandangos, all of whom play their parts in the telling of the legendary story of Saint Frank.
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The One-Eyed Cy trilogy
The greatest story ever told!
It was brilliant, wasn't it? anyway! This is the story of One-Eyed Cy, a Cyclops monster who was complicit in his life of monster-type shenanigans, and ok with his lot in life until the council saw fit to take his monster licence away, reclassifying Cy as a pirate due to the fact that just having one eye no longer met the requirements to qualify as a monster.
The God of the sea, Poseidon, is a nasty beggar! Cy and Poseidon clash many times as Cy tries his best to adjust to his new life upon the waves.
As well as battling with the deranged Poseidon and his hive of villainy, Cy also embarks on a personal journey of discovery to discover who he truly is: a monster or a hero?
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Da’Resistance
Life is funny. One minute you are enjoying a drink with your friends in the local pub, the next you are one of the only four survivors of a mass alien abduction, and the only hope the universe has against an evil galactic empire.
What happened next is unbelievable! No, seriously, it's really unbelievable, you will look at it and think 'Well, I don't believe that actually happened!'
Drew, Sabastian, Shamus, and Mary have their quiet, unassuming lives destroyed by the dammed inconvenience of having to save the world, then the universe, and then, well, everything!
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The Apocalypse Blockers Series
A long time from now, in a reality far removed from our own, on an old, dying version of our Earth, a scientist called Khaos made a terrible discovery, one that changed everything for everyone.
Khaos accidentally turned himself into a terrible creature, one that can see everything, everywhere, all at once. This was too much for the creature. Khaos sought to end everything, everywhere. To do this, he needed to break through every reality in the multiverse by smashing his way into them, causing an apocalypse on every version of the Earth, in every universe, in every reality.
The Earth fell into destruction over and over again in every universe, but there were some, a few heroes who stepped up when the need for a hero was most dire. This handful of heroes in their separate universes and realities is the only thing preventing Khaos from destroying everything that has ever existed.
The Apocalypse Blockers Multiverse is made up of heroes spanning time, space, and realities. One thing links them all: the battle for reality itself! Khaos is coming!
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Space And Stuff
Dave's first day working on the wall does not go well. Through very little fault of his own, he finds himself embroiled in the ruthless, backstabbing, corrupt world of interplanetary politics. The money has all gone, people are turning on each other, and the whole colony of Copernicus is in utter turmoil. Dave fumbles his way around the left wing and the right wing, and wings he never even knew existed, looking for the answer to Copernicus's problems before it’s too late and the colony descends into a lawless hive of people wearing leather and sporting mohawks.
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HELLO! Welcome to my shop for the strange, bizarre and silly.
I am the curator here, if you are reading this then I am dead and the radioactive monkeys have won, never mind, lets crack on, ok if you made it this far you are curious as to what my books are like but not curious enough to bother reading one to find out, you want me to smooth talk you into it, you little minx! ok, well, they are a hot mess of stupid events befalling stupid people, in a stupid fashion, in places that are very odd.
Subscribe to my newsletter for free ebooks and Audiobooks every week. You will receive an email from me, and only me, as I never pass on anyone’s details to the evil lords of Spam marketing. If you get a call from someone in India trying to sell you life insurance, it has nothing to do with me; you should have used a fake phone number like the rest of us do.
I hope this is the start of us becoming friends, or even better, you worshipping me as your God.
Do well.
Simon Carr.
Saint Frank and the Dragon
Nobody is born a Saint; you must earn that title and change in pronouns through great deeds, or by knowing the guy who does the Saint lists.
This is the legend of Saint Frank, and the great deeds he what did to earn that Sainthood, not born a Saint, in the beginning he was just, Frank, but not long after some stuff that took quite long, he became Sir. Frank.
Sir. Frank may or may not have slain a Dragon; if he did, then this is the Tale of how Sir. Frank became Saint Frank, and if he did not, then this is the story of nearly a Saint Frank and a triumphant Dragon.
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The Second Coming of Saint Frank
Frank has questions, many questions.
Startled to learn that his wife did not die after smoking mushrooms, in their mushroom smoker and burning the house down, Frank sets off on a quest to find her, and the many answers to the many questions that he has about her disappearance.
The quests just keep coming, as there’s trouble in paradise, a rogue saint, Saint Charlie, has quit his job as a saint, and he’s come to Earth to make the world his domain.
Frank must battle the rogue Saint Charlie, find his wife, and save everyone because everyone except him seems to be rubbish at not needing saving, but he can’t do it alone. Frank must find help, and as everyone but him on Earth appears to be rubbish at this sort of caper, he must look somewhere else.
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coming december 2025
Control Spark
There’s a lot to cover here, ok, first, what if the voice inside your head left and became a mop, you ever think of that? Of course not, why would you, forget that.
Second! If particles are everywhere all at once until they are observed, then why do we all see the same thing when we observe them? Who is doing that? It can’t be us, or we would all see something different. Who or what controls what particles become when we look at them?
Nigal is about to discover the answer to that question when he stumbles across a secret that’s been hidden under the great pyramids for thousands of years, a discovery that throws his and everyone else’s life into utter chaos!
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Control Spark Dark Void
Things have escalated!
You would think that after you had saved the world, you could be confident that your hardships and adventure-type shenanigans would be put to bed, but no! He! Him! And other singular pronouns that sound sinister are hunting Nigal, Mikey, not so much Sandra and Malik, but for the sake of argument and drama, we will say that he is, that’s like a generic he by the way, not a gender affirming one.
Add into the mix a pirate squid-type person that’s also an alien, and a Ai robot that’s like a normal robot but in a time when we know what AI really is, so it’s a bit more real than it used to be and not really as futuristic, which sucks a bit, but here we are.
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Control Spark Control it All
There's nowhere left to hide, Nigal, and Mickey must now face the Entity, the prize for the winners. everything!
Nigel's bizarre experience reaches its climax, just when he thinks his mind can not be bent any further, it's bent even more.
The Reset has spread through the entire Galaxy, but the Galaxy is not enough for the Entity; it wants to eradicate everything.
Reality will be won or lost as the Control Spark battles itself!
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One-Eyed Cy gets Something to do
Cy has had his monster licence taken away, and he has been reclassified as a Pirate, on account of him just being a normal guy with just one eye. The Pirates’ life is not for Cy so when an opportunity to get his licence reinstated presents itself, Cy embarks on a quest, of some kind, with some people of some description, to get something or other.
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ONE-EYED CY AND THE ARMY OF THE TOAD PEOPLE
The seas belong to Cy and his crew. Since they left Olympus Island, everything has been just peachy. The blissful existence upon the waves was not to last. Poseidon, sore from being banished from Olympus Island, thirsts for revenge.
Finding the undefeatable Toad-man army, Poseidon sets in motion the plans for his vengeance against Cy and his crew. Buckles get swashed, magic, fantasy, and other cool stuff await you in the tale of when One-Eyed Cy fought the Toad-Man army.
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ONE-EYED CY WRATH OF HADES
Cy's story draws to a close. The end comes for us all eventually, but what end we face is in the hands of the Gods.
Cy stands at the end of all things with his friends, his fate unknown, his destiny unclear, his gas bill unpaid.
What fate has in store for Cy, only time will tell, time and actually reading this book to find out, I mean you won't find anything out just standing there like a right berk, will you!?
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Da’ Resistance
Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift Apocalypse.
Forming the resistance did not take long; there are only five of them, but they will put up a fight nonetheless.
This is a tale of something or other, and what a tale it is. There was something, then there was this other thing. Nobody saw it coming, nobody expected it, and nobody could have imagined the fight that followed, from Da’ Resistance!
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STILL RESISTING
Saving the world was the first step towards, well, everything! Drew, Mary, Sebastian, and Teak are in a world of epic stuff that they can’t understand.
An evil the universe had forgotten threatens to return, evil that’s still here is being a right pain, basically evil is just, well, it's being evil, and nobody needs its crap!
There are two choices: resist or try to make up a second choice.
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Final Resistance
An ancient evil is returning, a war that was already won must be fought again, or once more, twice, like they already had it, but now they are doing it again because doing stuff again is what you do when the first time went ok, but this time it might not go ok, so, well, its a risk, isn't it?
Drew, Sabastian, Mary, Shamus, and Teak have had a rough old time of things, but they are still battling, still fighting, still resisting, and now with help from new friends, they are ready to face their last battle, their final war, their final resistance!
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KHAOS HAS COME
There was always one point, one moment in all of reality where everything that was will fight for everything that might be.
It’s this point; well, several points but all happening at the same time, well, not the same time.
It’s super complicated; some question whether it really happened at all, or will happen, don’t listen to those people; they just don’t understand super complicated stuff.
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DRAGONS AND STUFF
In a place unknown. In a time nobody is sure of. Stuff happened, and there were Dragons.
Epic dobadoobries unfold at an incredible pace around Prince Jasper and his man-servant, page, the guy who goes with him, Roulart.
Can they stop the evil Queen from taking over Prince Jasper's kingdom, and why should you care?
Well, you should care! It will be a really rubbish story if you don't put some effort in!
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VIRTUALLY GONE
Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets of our existence are out there.
Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his World turned upside-down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!
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SHEEPLE
WHAT IF THE WIDE-EYED WALLOPERS ON YOUTUBE WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG?
If you have ever wanted to refuse a vaccine while lying on the flat earth, looking up at the moon that we never landed on, listening to the very much alive Elvis new duet with Tupac, then this is the book for you!
None of that happens in this book, but you have the right stuff, my friend!
Join Jim's discovery of all things secret that those damn elite Marxists keep lying about. There are only two ways to the truth: this book or a YouTube video made by an angry middle-aged white man. I am also a middle-aged white man and sometimes angry, so you know what I'm telling you must be true!
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Witchetty-Woo
Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat.
What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain; well not all the way to the bottom. we are still above Ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a Duck.
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Apocalypse Blockers
KHAOS IS COMING!
The fate of every living thing in the multiverse that has ever existed or is going to exist rests in the hands of a band of, well, weirdos if I am honest, but they are our only hope.
Our reality and every possible reality are under attack from an evil force called Khaos that has sent apocalypse after apocalypse to every reality around the planet Earth.
Not every version of the Earth fell; a mighty few stopped the apocalypse sent by Khaos. These few are all that stand in the way of Khaos, these warriors, these heroes, these apocalypse Blockers!
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Noobs
IF YOU THINK LIFE IS A GAME, WAIT UNTIL YOU PLAY DEATH!
Chris and Steve were quite happy sitting in their rooms playing online games until events in a kabab shop changed everything and reset all of the rules.
A deal with the Grim Reaper could give them both a second chance at life if they can play the game of their lives inside some of the games they have only ever seen through a screen, until now.
Luckily they are not alone, friends they had not met, or maybe they had, help the new guys, the Noobs!
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S16
Probably the only thing worse than finding out that nothing you know is real is finding out that you are also not real.
Well, that’s how Sanjiv's day started; it did not get much better after that, truth be told.
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Bob and the Blob
BOB'S BLOB OR BLOBS BOB?
Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to slaughter to be turned into burgers.
He has had better Thursdays.
Bob's handler, Fred, befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans, from food to intelligent life, so that the slaughter ship can be stopped, and everyone can be returned to earth. It is not easy, as there are a lot of not very intelligent life forms on that ship.
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KarBoben
Real Love knows no realities.
The Multiverse's first power couple were once a lonely queen and a king who had lost his kingdom.
this is the story of how a multiverse in Khaos brought them together.
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Respect to the man in the ice cream van
Everything was better in the 90s unless it was being attacked by ghost witches. If it was being attacked by ghost witches, then it was not that great; although it happened at a great time and in an awesome setting!
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The documented doings of rick toenail space sheriff and princess power
THE BIRTH OF THE LEGEND! War is brewing, and the galaxy's only space sheriff and his robot companion will not be enough to contain it. An awesome hero saving the day with dumb luck and unlikely coincidences can only get you so far. But when epic battles loom, epic friends are required.
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A Zombie Bit Myffanie
DEAR GOD A ZOMBIE BIT MYFFANIE!
All merry hell breaks loose and life as we know it is in danger of being snuffed out from the planet on what is otherwise not too bad of a Tuesday.
Barry and Myffanie have to negotiate a Zombie apocalypse in an effort to save the market value of the house they bought in Ptthwit five years ago.
An accident in a nearby cosmetics laboratory has unleashed a zombie horde onto the village, one that may take over the entire planet if they don't stop it, or worse, completely wipe out the extra value Barry's Garage extension put onto their property.
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Spice Zombie Apocalypse
REAL MONSTERS ARE NOT AFRAID TO WEAR PINK!
Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram; teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards... He decides enough is enough.
He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.
Standing in Dracula’s way to world domination are the children of his old enemies who have grown up, well, a bit snowflakey.
The Apocalypse is upon us. Good versus evil. Monster versus monster. It is this Wednesday. Bring a packed lunch.
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A Rocket to the Blasted Moon
GOOD LORD AND HELLS BRASSY BELLS MAN!
It's a time of great discovery and adventure, William desperately tries to cement his legacy into this revolution of industry with little success until he is gifted some designs for a space Rocket.
William and his manservant, Mumbandi build the Rocket, keen to prove all of his peers wrong and be the first to travel to the stars.
Discovery and adventure present themselves in an abundance during the first-ever journey of A Rocket to the Blasted Moon!
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Our Fathers Who Art in Lapland
Some idiot read from the book again!
This time the Devil has enlisted the help of Krampus and has kidnapped Santa himself, so he has.
Can fathers O'Malley and O'Riley once again thwart doomsday and save Christmas!?
One of those things seems a bit more pressing than the other to be fair, but both will need doing, so they will!
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The Super Nice Monster Squad
REAL MONSTERS ARE NOT AFRAID TO WEAR PINK!
Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram; teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards... He decides enough is enough.
He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.
Standing in Dracula’s way to world domination, are the children of his old enemies who have grown up, well, a bit snowflakey.
The Apocalypse is upon us. Good versus evil. Monster versus monster. It is this Wednesday. Bring a packed lunch.
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Our Fathers
THIS IS FECKING SERIOUS, SO IT IS!
Bishops Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked.
Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.
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Karen
GET ME THE MANAGER NOW! For a millennium, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every contingency was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for — what they are not ready for — is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons, alive or dead, is purely inevitable.
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Pie-Eyed
RAISE YOUR GLASSES AND MOVE YOUR ASSES!
The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.
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Goblin Queen
THIS QUEEN WAS NEVER A PRINCESS!
Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends.
That all sounds very serious.
It's not.
It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me.
Read it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.
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Space and Stuff the Full Saga
A STORY OF REALITIES, SPACE AND STUFF Dave’s new job, working on the wall of Copernicus, sets off a series of events that just keep escalating. Really, what starts as political discourse somehow ends up being a race through time, space, and reality itself. Join a group of weirdos and oddballs as they explore the very complex social and physical aspects of the ‘stuff’ that surrounds them. A multiverse is an odd place, and very odd things happen inside of it, so much so that you can lose sight of whatever it was you thought was not odd, to begin with.
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Space And Stuff
THE UNIVERSE NEEDS A HERO, OR A DRINK, PROBABLY BOTH!
Dave's first day working on the wall does not go well. Through very little fault of his own, he finds himself embroiled in the ruthless, backstabbing, corrupt world of interplanetary politics. The money has all gone, people are turning on each other, and the whole colony of Copernicus is in utter turmoil. Dave fumbles his way around the left wing and the right wing, and wings he never even knew existed, looking for the answer to Copernicus's problems before it’s too late and the colony descends into a lawless hive of people wearing leather and sporting mohawks.
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Galactic Wars Administration
THE FORCE IS ON A BREAK!
One of the greatest sci-fi stories ever told has been told by the heroes, it’s been told by the villains, but it has never been told by the people who were there but did not really care because they just worked there, until now!
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Space And Stuff 2
Well, here we are again, and things are a right mess.
(pinches nose)
It's complicated.
Terrorists tried smuggling a time manipulator through customs, only it went wrong, and it ended up in the hands of a schoolboy, Alex, you remember him. Anyway, he thinks it is a time simulator, so he is using it to do his history homework. Every time Alex uses the time manipulator to travel back in time, it creates a copied universe, because you can’t travel backwards in time. If you could, we would all be doing it, right? So the gravity from all of these universes is pulling each other apart. Everyone's going to die unless a band of heroes finds a way to save us all. Let's hope they do; they probably will; there wouldn't be much point in writing a book about it if they did not. But you never know. You best read it anyway.
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Space And Stuff 3
Here we are yet again, still no nearer an end to this nonsense than when we began. That is where you are wrong. This is it! The endgame. It all ends now! Our heroes thought they had saved reality, but now they’ve learned they don't even know what reality is! Things from reality are fighting back against them, and in order to save their reality, they must first work out what reality is, then find the real reality, and stop it or something — I don't even know! Come on, one last insanity-filled trip, and let's just hope nobody dies for very long.
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We have been selling comics ,action figures and gaming products since 1996 and started trading in Accrington.
Now based in Blackburn in a retail premises just opposite the town`s library,with a large gaming area to boot.We have been selling comics ,action figures and gaming products since 1996 and started trading in Accrington.
Now based in Blackburn in a retail premises just opposite the town`s library,with a large gaming area to boot.
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